funny how it happens...

...that even doors you thought had closed would be opened again.  I've prayed and prayed for months for doors to be closed.  When people asked how they could pray for me I would say, "Oh, please just pray that some options will disappear.  Ask God to close those doors and shut the windows!"

Haha.

Here I am, thinking that I know something about the way God works--as if it ever happens that way.  I mean, really!  I thought when my life became one big bowl of YES and I was overwhelmed with choice and no obvious option plopped in front of me, that I could predict what God was going to do based on my previous experience.  To a certain extent, that is true(ish): I can comfortably say that I believe that God will not let me fall on my face unless it is to my eventual benefit to fall on my face.  So, I expected to be left in a vortex of anxiety for awhile while I learned to trust God more (even though I know it's good for me, I still don't trust very well when I do fall on my face) and that at some point some of the doors would close, the chilly fall air would force someone to shut the windows, and we'd all bundle up in slippers and hand-crocheted afghans given to us by our grandmothers, and all would be right with the world.

All that is to say, I was entirely wrong.  Did doors close?  Yes!  The one I had expected to be WIDE OPEN at the beginning of the summer closed while I was in Alaska.  And yet, instead of keeping that door closed and closing a ton of others, ever guiding me to my next destination, the SAME DOOR was the one I ended up staring out of.  I performed a figurative turn-about and there it was---wide open, but with a slightly different path on the other side.

I had planned to go to Reba as an apprentice.  That didn't work out (see somewhere below).  Then I planned not to go to Reba, despite several attempts on the part of others to get me there.  Then, I figured I might as well check out this housing opportunity that was made known to me, and I was rather slow getting on that.  THEN, it worked out.  I didn't realize until I had left the house where I will be moving next week that I ended up at Reba anyway, after all of that worry.  I'll be with friends and people who love me, in a neighborhood I can walk around in, and near the lake and coffee shops and plenty of work opportunities and grocery stores (there aren't many grocery stores on the west side).

Needless to say, this door re-opening has thrown a stone in my gears.  I was all gung-ho for Alaska, and now I'm not so sure.  I'm still open to the idea, given certain circumstances falling into place, but I am also far more comfortable sticking around than I was a month or two ago.  Sigh...more to follow, I'm sure.